Dear Gian...

Dear Gian,
Haha, I don’t know why I’m writing this letter. I guess, I just feel like these are things I need to say to you, but I can’t say it in person because things are going to get mixed up and we’ll probably just end up fighting or something. First of all, I want you to know, I’m trying my hardest to move on, in the right way of course haha, not just randomly going through guys and hooking up with them or anything. But I just wanted you to know that I realized that we’d never be together again after you broke up with me the second time, or when you told me you were going to go with Alexis. But like anyways, I just really wanted to say sorry. Sorry for everything that happened. Well, I’m not talking about the good memories and stuff, because I have to say, we had a pretty good relationship. Or at least, I thought so. We had a lot of good times and thanks for that, because there’s a lot of good moments to look back on :] But, I’m really sorry for all the problems, fights, crying and everything that we went through.

After we broke up, I got a lot of free time haha. And like, during that free time, I just kept thinking about our relationship and why we ended up breaking up like this. I mean, who wouldn’t think about that?? Did I ever tell you that I never believed in love?? I probably didn’t, not something to tell your boyfriend when you were in a relationship with him haha. But yeah, I’ve never believed in love. But after all that, I can honestly say, I think I really did love you, because otherwise, why would it be this hard to get over you?? But don’t worry haha, I’m getting over you, no matter what. Because that’s the only way both of us are going to be happy you know?? But back to the point, I kept thinking about our breakup, and I really, honestly, think, that I indirectly caused the breakup. I realized that throughout our relationship, a lot of it was focused around me, and making me happy. Like, whenever I had a problem with you, we always ended up talking about it, whether it was me being jealous, or not liking something you said, etc. But then, whenever you had a problem with me, we barely brought it up, or talked about it. It never came up, and you always said you didn’t have a problem with me doing something wrong or whatever, but like, still. That’s not right. I should’ve been better. And like, I always complained, had a problem, or got pissed off for no apparent reason. I had stupid mood swings. It was completely, ABSOLUTELY, unfair to you. Most of the problems that we had were because of me and my stupid mood swings or whatever I was complaining about. And I’m, really, really, sorry for that. I really hope you enjoyed our relationship as much as I did, even though there were problems. And I know right now, you’re probably shaking your head no, and getting pissed off because of what I’m saying, because you never believed in me blaming myself, and you hated how much I did it. But I can honestly say, I think I have the right to blame myself right now. And I’m really sorry for causing our breakup, I brought so many problems to you, and it was an unhealthy relationship I guess.

Don’t believe that I didn’t enjoy it, I really did. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been so in love with you. But, that’s inexcusable for how I treated you. I don’t think I appreciated you as much as I should have. It’s really true when they say, “You never know what you have until it’s gone.” But you were an amazing and amazingly caring and understanding boyfriend, and I really hope your future girlfriends end up getting what I got, because it was absolutely heaven sent. And I made so many mistakes, and I regret taking our relationship the way I did, and I wish I could go back and do it all over again. But it’s obvious I can’t. And believe me, when I say I’m moving on. I am, in the process of it. Of course I’m not completely moved on because it’s been a month, and it’s hard for me to get over a 10-month period in one month, but, I’m getting there. So don’t worry, I’m not trying to get you back by writing this letter, but, I just wanted to apologize for everything that happened – I’m sorry for bringing you all those problems, having all those stupid mood swings, hurting myself, everything. I feel like, if I don’t get this out now, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I’ll regret not telling you sorry, because to me, apologies are always necessary to say, because they could cause you to lose a friend, a loved one, or just anyone you care about. So thank you for reading this letter, and hey, I hope you always stay happy, because that was always my main priority.

- Kathie

P.S. You better not be crying while you read this letter, or right now. And you better not have punched a wall or anything or else I’ll be really mad. And don’t think I won’t know, I know you too well Gian :]